3 Tools For Self Growth

If you are reading this and following me, it’s likely you are committed to growth in your life in some way. You want to understand better so you can do better. As Abraham Maslow discussed in his motivation theory, The Hierarchy of Needs, you want to become self actualized, which means achieving your full potential in life. Your and my drive for growth may be at different strengths or paces, but we are committed to it in some way.

What we need to understand is that not everyone wants to grow, change, or become aware. Others are on their own path, evolving and growing at their own pace that is likely different from our own. We can’t force our agenda on them. We can’t require them to change, or expect a shift in their awareness that comes at a convenient time for us.

The best way to encourage growth in those around us is to be the example. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

As you practice mindfulness, notice patterns that aren’t serving you then work to break them, and face challenges with grace, those around you may be inspired to do the same (in their own way). We have to remember their evolution is their own and will unfold in perfect divine timing.

As we keep the focus on our self, it’s important to know that there are three tools for personal growth. They are:

1. Meditating.

You must sit in stillness daily in order to watch your thoughts and learn about how your mind works. This sitting will train you to be aware through the rest of your day so you can see how you are showing up in the different situations of your life. With this awareness, you begin to bring choice to how you respond to anything that triggers you, rather than continuing to follow reactive patterns often developed in your childhood.

2. Writing.

Writing or journaling forces you to get clear on what’s going on in your heart and mind. It asks you to put words to what you are feeling and how you want to expand in your life. This is why every blog I write ends with at least one self-inquiry question. If you journal on these questions each week, you will grow in your awareness of your struggles, desires, and goals. (A fun fact is that people are 42% more likely to achieve a goal when they write it down, according to Dr. Gail Matthews’ research at the Dominican University in California. Imagine how this simple act could significantly change your life!)

3. Talking.

Talking through your challenges, gaining fresh insight from others who don’t think like you, and connecting with another human being is the final tool for self growth. This is why we have coaches and therapists and mentors and rare gem friends that generously listen to us. Talking with a generous listener gives us the opportunity to work through our own challenges and discover the insight and guidance that is already within each of us.

Since these three tools are critical for self growth, all of the coaching programs I offer use each of these tools in different ways.

Finally, while I’ve learned and accepted that not all people want to grow, I do believe that it is our natural human experience and our soul’s desire to evolve. We are nature, and nature is continually growing (or dying). So if we aren’t choosing growth for ourselves, the universe will eventually force growth upon us. It might come in the form of a cancer prognosis, a missing limb from a car accident, the loss of a job, or finding out that your child is hurting herself.

If we aren’t growing, eventually the universe will wake us up, and push us through pain into growth.

Now I ask you, why wait for the pain? Why not continue (or begin) your evolution now? You now know the three tools that will support you to do so!

Today, meditate on, journal, or discuss with a generous listener:

Where in my life am I growing and where am I stagnant?

Am I willing to change? Am I really willing to do what it takes?

Today, how can I begin my inevitable growth?

With whom can I accept their personal journey and quit forcing my growth agenda on them?

Cheers to your beautiful evolution!

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